Lawnmower Man

May 30, 2010 at 10:12 PM Leave a comment

I have decided to start a new blog about “Misanthropic (in) Justice.” What this means is that while I go through life, I observe many things that I feel need to be analyzed and criticized. Many people disagree on this and feel that I should be more positive or have a better “loving” view of the world. While they might be right (according to Ghandi, the Dalai Lama, Jesus Christ and many others), I still retain the right to point these things out. You have the right not to read them.

For my first post, I am going to discuss the “Lawnmower Man.” This is a movie about a guy who mowed lawns, who was an adult with mental disabilities and a low IQ. When, something changed and then suddenly he began obtaining high intelligence so that he was more intelligent than everyone around him, somehow put his mind into the virtual reality video game he was playing and became “God” in a machine, so that his own “will” became “God.”

There is a guy in my neighborhood who mows lawns and does other random repairs if you need them, for cash. He is an older man who I thought was either retired or on disability or something and was making extra cash doing these services. However, my experience has now shown me that he is a guy who is “on something” and wants money. So, when I moved into my house at first the guy was really nice to me and tried to talk to me a lot, which didn’t really bother me. This was until he started yelling at me that some other man who was driving by in a truck and stopped to say “Hi” to Lawnmower Man (LM) and then started talking to me, that the man was a “rapist” and not to talk to him. And, he started making comments to any males who said hi or tried to talk to me at all, that I was “with” him, which was seemingly a joke, but the joke got old fast. This was when I just stopped talking to him much at all; however, I did pay him $10 to mow half of my lawn one day.

Something like a month passed, and this man and his behavior toward me pushed me away from talking to him, so that I’d barely say “hi”. He also tried to pick me up off of the ground one day as a “joke.” I don’t take it lightly, I like to be left alone for the most part — but I tolerated it.

Anyway, so one day he was outside and I was supposed to be getting a check in the mail, and my lawn was very high so I told him, “when I get the check you can do my lawn (tomorrow)…” This was on a Monday or Tuesday. The next day came and it was a pouring/drenching rain storm for the whole day. I went outside my door because there is a leak in my basement, to see why the leak was there, I stood outside the side of my house looking at the forming puddle and seeing why the house was leaking. LM sees me, and immediately hustles right over to me. Mind you, I’m sick with a major sinus headache that day and did not want to be outside chatting and no way would I invite this guy whom I hardly know into my home. So, as I stood there trying to be a civilized, nice person — he began telling me the “history” (because he’s lived here a long time) of this house, other managers, renters, owners, etc., and their ability or inability to do maintenance, etc. I talked about this for maybe 20 minutes when I said, “Hey I’m really sick I need to go inside.” However, not before he asked me at least 5 times to please give him the $20 I offered to do the lawn — TODAY. I said of course, “No, I don’t even have it right now, I have to go to an ATM to get it.” That was a lie, I did have it, but I wasn’t giving him anything without the work being done. His insistence that I give it to him was so great I thought he must need it for alcohol or drugs, no one cares THAT much about $20 bucks to harass someone to this extent.

This was even to the point of him telling me he would give me a dollar for the ATM fee (because my point was that I wasn’t PAYING to get his cash to him before the work was even finished) just so that he could get the 20 bucks. To get rid of this guy, I said, “Maybe I will walk up there later and get it if I feel better.” Well, the time period came and went when I said I “might” walk up there, and he had disappeared. I felt so thankful… Until I hear KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK without cessation. I tried to ignore the KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK but it wouldn’t stop. I finally go to the door and there he is, saying, “DID YOU FORGET ABOUT ME??!” (This was a good hour or more after I “might” have went somewhere, being sick as hell anyway).

Well, this was where my kindness snapped. I was done with it. I started yelling at him… like “Why are you asking for this money before you even did the work…” and telling him I am not rich, why does he think I have all this money just to give him and blah blah blah. My yelling was loud and to the point, he and the other dude left (who I think was a co-drug addict or someone he owed money to, also now standing on my front lawn waiting for me to hand this guy cash).

So we did have a 10 minute argument at my front door because I wouldn’t “front” him 20 bucks.

I think, “I will just have someone else do it this guy is way too much for me to deal with.”

The next morning, even though it is STILL RAINING, he’s outside mowing my yard. He mows the whole yard and if you do this in rain, it turns out crappy. Clumps of grass and mud are all over it. I am livid thinking he had no permission at that point to mow my lawn. But, now I felt compelled to pay him when at this point I clearly did not want him doing shit for me. So now I feel compelled to go to my bank and withdraw 20 bucks to pay this man. I think he could argue its a “grey area” or he’s unsure that I told him not to do my yard… and since it was all a verbal agreement I decided to just pay him and get it over with. I also make him sign a paper that says he will never touch my yard again unless I tell him to, IN WRITING.

So, here I am still with no car and no lawn mower and my yard is getting tall again. Yes, according to Michigan idiot standards of grass, I need to mow it. I can’t get a lawn mower because I have no car. You see the dilemma? Now this guy trumps around in people’s yards as if he’s the Yard King of the neighborhood. And, he seems to dominate people into getting their yards done when he clearly needs money for drugs. To the point of offering to do the yards and get payment later. I think this is a tactic to use so that everyone owes the guy money so he can inevitably get people do do things for him (give him alcohol, cigarettes and whatever else). See, while this might be the barter and trade system of agricultural or tribal type societies, this is not the barter system in my own mind, in the society in which I function. I function on very clear lines drawn about what services I need and paying for those services. I pay for services I receive and then I don’t owe anything — that is my MO. I don’t allow people to do me favors so that I will owe them “something” in the unforeseeable future. I find this to get oneself into holes of “owing” that I don’t want to be in. Such as, “now that you’re making this bbq and having friends over, I’m going to sit here, hang out and eat your food with you because you owe me for the lawn…”


That will be especially problematic when I get a car. I have had a car and already hate the tons of people always needing and asking for a ride (which is amazing because while I’ve had no car for 2 years, I’ve gotten very FEW rides from anyone, most of them the people offered, I think I’ve only literally asked for rides from the train station to my house because the bus didn’t run that late). However people constantly “NEED” rides to the store, rides to the doctor, rides to someone’s house on the other side of town, rides to places that I never needed a ride to and could take the bus. I would choose taking the bus before bugging someone about a ride. Others don’t see it that way. They want a ride, and they will ask you without shame and even expect you to give them one even though they could take the bus. Well having taken it with no problem for years, that is what I will tell the new pack of individuals that will need a ride when I get my car (as they come out of the woodwork).

So in the end, what will I do? This LM is now doing subversive tactics to get my money: mowing the lawn of every house around me. 1/2 of them are abandoned. One is owned by a woman with severe trash problems, she may have paid him to do hers. So, now my lawn looks like the only unkempt one. Why would anyone mow an abandoned lawn for free? Clearly the owner isn’t paying him, one of the houses are condemned. He will actually go this far to get my cash? Well the longer he tries these tactics the less it will work. If he talked to me like a civilized human being and asked me if I needed my lawn done, to which I will likely reply, “sure,” and make him sign a receipt, I would gladly do a simple business deal. But he doesn’t, he’s a game player and manipulator.

So my response is: look on Craigslist and find one of the other dozens of people who want to mow a lawn for cash and pay them instead. Until I get a lawn mower. Of course, he is likely going to resent and hate me for hiring someone other than him to do my yard, because he clearly feels he owns the neighborhood and has a monopoly on lawn care. Oh well.

Any comments?

Have you ever been “bullied” into receiving services or repairs by neighbors or family members when you either didn’t want the service or would have preferred to hire someone else? If so, please explain your experience.


Entry filed under: human plague. Tags: , , , .

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